I always think that there is a 'juke box' in my head. I wake up every morning with different old song playing in my head. "We were loving
in all of our 'lifes'
We go on loving
in the 'lifes' we are to be born" - an old Malayalam song - was the one playing when I woke up this morning.
The song is s right. We were loving and we continue to love.
I feel that for some time now, no one in my country use 'pure love' in relation to the love between a husband and wife. Generally "real love" or "pure love" is used to denote the love between unmarried lovers: The general public seems to be saying that pure love is not between spouses. Do you think that there is any reason why we have separated pure love from family and marriage? I'm not sure. In any case, it is clear that we understand real love as pure love.
The general perception seems to be that pure love is unconditional love is love devoid of ego is love of partnership. And that is not found at least in my country in a family between spouses today. Many people have been saying for a long time that men in general are victims of patriarchy. And I have mentioned it many times here.
The Bible clearly says that if any evil such as authority, pridefulness, selfishness, greed, jealousy, envy, etc. surpasses love, real love ceases to be. I think that most religions also have said the same.
Since man-power is mostly what is dominant in the society, one can say in a generalized manner that men don't know to love. Since women are also the products of the same patriarchal society, it is understandable that women also don't know to love. In that case can there be real love in the families they create? No doubt that love is acted out in the first stages. Slowly, tendencies of exercising authority creeps in. Or pridefulness comes out. Or jealousy. Control of the other begins to unfold. "I will say - you will obey" -kind of thing. There companionship is gone; partnership is lost; real love is ended!
On the other hand, should spouses have restrictions, limit and control on each other?
Shouldn't there be control on how much spending will hurt the financial security? Yes. But that is imposed by one over the other. It should be arrived at. Shouldn't there be a limit to disrespect? Of course. And that too should be arrived at. The fact is, without a basic understanding of what and how dialogue is, no type of social life is possible.
