Until Looking in a Mirror

Yesterday, I had written about comparing, competing, coveting, complaining, and criticizing: the five C-letter words that make us negative humans, and how to employ an antidote to the third of them, "Coveting". Since we have come this far, we also need to examine what experts say we can treat the other four 'C' behaviors in us.

As we have seen, Comparison is the first one. At its base is egocentrism.

The method employed is to compare oneself with others to determine one's own inferiority or superiority. One's own personality, abilities, or possessions - anything can come into this comparison. I don't know if any of us, including myself, are free from this behavior.

What is a way out?

The first thing that needs to happen is to accept that there is no authenticity in Comparing; it is simply not realistic. All human beings are created differently. They are born and grow up in different circumstances. Just like everything else in nature, everyone has different functions to fulfill in creation. Therefore, comparing is a purely futile.

The second behavioral malady is 'competition'. At the root of it is scarcity-thinking. Although competitiveness can be good in a small amount, this toxicity has infiltrated all of us to a large extent in our times. Due to the scarcity-mindset that only a few can succeed in this world; only a few can get love; the resources are only good for a few, we develop a nature to compete aggressively with those around us. Our society and pedagogy are struggling to instill competition in us like madness. In countries with large populations, this attitude is more likely to be prevalent. In fact, if we find our own space, everyone can succeed. Love is available to everyone; there are resources for everyone's need in this world. Competition that abandons decency and humanity does not get us where we need to go. The way to escape from making life a constant competition is to convince ourselves of this fact and believe that cooperation is a better way.

Complaining is the fourth negative trait behavior. At the bottom of it lies the ego and the crying for attention of others. People complain about their illnesses, their troubles, their unfulfillment, and the inefficiency of the people in their lives, and almost everything. The reality is that no one benefits from complaining. Those who listen to such complainants mentally distance themselves from those who complain. At that instance, when they don't get what they looked for, most people deepen their complaints more and more. Thus they become more ego-centered, more negative, and try harder to gain attention from others: this is how it works.

What is the way out?

No one who listens to our complaints will come to our aid. Nor can they help us.

The way out is to be proactive and creative in our thinking about what changes we can make in our lives - in our own situation.

The fifth behavioral vice is criticism. Critics are inflating their own ego. Those who criticize their surroundings, others, situations, etc. are trying to elevate themselves by putting others down.

Again, those who lack self-confidence become harsh critics. Humans automatically have a kind of internal urge to stay away from negativity. Therefore, people would distance themselves from chronic critics. The truth is that those who criticize everything and everyone do not realize the unreality inherent in it. Critics become more negative people. In these times of social media, the number of such chronic critics is reaching an all-time record.

It is not easy to correct chronic critics. One must recognize oneself of it and come out of it. How can one overcome this tendency? If we are such persons what we can do to modify our behavior is to share better ways for improvement in the most acceptable and most creative way to others. Practicing empathy, putting oneself in the shoes of others, and evaluating oneself are all things that a critical person can do with oneself.

The above four, as well as the negative behavior of "coveting" detailed yesterday (the antidote is to practice gratitude), are present in me and all of us to some extent. We must sit down and step back a little and look at ourselves ourselves in detail. Doing this way, we must develop self-awareness. Otherwise, how do we think that we have a mirror to look at our souls!