I think that another perspective on shame is possible. What are we usually ashamed of? Our life circumstances, our past and present, our family, our relationships, our shortcomings - we feel ashamed when we think that these are less than standard. I am not good enough, my parents are not good enough, the poverty and deprivations of my childhood were certainly not good; my standard of living is not good enough, not only my past but also my present are inadequate. All these are human wounds. Those ashamed have these wounds. They generally withdraw from society. Some on the other hand, are in a denial mode -of their wounds; they hide them. Both these groups of people create havocs for themselves.

What weird philosophies there were once upon a time about the use of alcohol and drugs! From this single point of view, I would say that there can be two types of people using alcohol: those who have wounds of shame and those who have no wound of shame. Those in shame are those who hold the wound inside. Like ostriches that want to hide their heads in sand, are they approaching alcohol . Alcohol will swallow them and their families. It is not easy for those who have no wound of shame to be swallowed by alcohol. The difference is in the individual. It is also about the society. Many traditionalist societies naturally manufacture shame culturally. Shame can destroy many people in such societies.

The second group is those who deny their shame. They had poverty in their childhood and grew up in hardship. They were deprived of many things that many others enjoyed. They haven't accepted their situations. Therefore, they would insist that their children should never have such situations. Therefore they will try to raise them without any want. Gradually, it can spoil these children.

Shame is very personal. If we admit and accept the things that we consider 'shames' aren't really 'shames', there will come about change. How wonderful it would be if would accept and embrace the wounds as they are! Because as part of the reality that shaped us, they are really sacred.

The risen Christ when he appeared called forth Thomas, and showed him his wounds, and told him to probe them!

In such situations, the wound does not spread, but rather the wound becomes enriching: the wound becomes a source of strength; it becomes a context of Grace!